Nothing

You cannot have a contemporary prison without contemporary furniture.
—Clouseau

Jul 312015
 

I wish to thank the many people who have undertaken, without pay and at considerable personal risk, to explain me to myself.

Jul 012015
 

Age has its privileges, like picking up the check.

May 152015
 

There are perfect fools, and perfection of any kind should be cherished.

May 042015
 

Being a sports fan is like chewing audibly — a mildly irritating but harmless backwardness that one charitably overlooks.

Apr 222015
 

Professional sports, though unpleasant, substitute for things even less pleasant.

Apr 032015
 

The hypochondriac makes his own death a bad joke.

Mar 242015
 

It is a race, and the parodists are losing.

Mar 052015
 

Bore is commutable; dullard is life without parole.

Feb 132015
 

You understand another language not when you can translate it, but when you no longer have to.