American exceptionalism: The belief that everywhere should be exactly like America, but not just yet.
We all come into this world with our little egos equipped with individual horns. If we don’t blow them, who will?
Intellectuals place a great premium on intelligence, to draw attention from the fact that they are, as a class, quite thick.
The best time to mention your high IQ is while explaining how IQ measures nothing important.
We say that we know a man when we catch a glimpse, in him, of ourselves.
Few who profess to ignore what others think extend the policy to praise: they fast by gorging on dessert.
Therapy encourages the patient to think and talk about himself — which is what induced him to seek therapy.
We say that we don’t understand, not humbly, but petulantly, to fault the speaker for pretension, or obscurity, or knowledge of the subject.
Sometimes we laugh because it’s funny, sometimes to be polite or to be rude; but usually to show that we understand the joke.
To have taste is to have too much confidence in it.
Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, and Sanctimony.