“Who would do something that stupid?” This is the Inanity Defense, and it should never be believed.
To a quite unwreckable Lie,
To a most impeccable Lie!
To a water-tight, fire-proof, angle-iron, sunk-hinge, time-lock, steel-faced Lie!
Not a private hansom Lie,
But a pair-and-brougham Lie,
Not a little-place-at-Tooting, but a country-house-with-shooting
And a ring-fence-deer-park Lie.
The apology is usually imaginary, but then so is the offense.
Explanations always sound like justifications because that is what they are.
Small lies must be plausible; big lies must be vivid.
Anything announced as voluntary is mandatory.
To undermine a principle, profess fealty to it while insisting that every applicable case is a unique circumstance that dictates its temporary suspension.
The shorter you write, the less you lie.
The trouble with reading the news is that you start to believe it.
Intellect is scorned in all times and places, and usually protects itself by traveling incognito. Physical beauty is apparent to all, and where it is attacked, invariably in the guise of a celebration of ugliness, we find an especially deformed and vicious age.
Your friends will generally put up with whatever hideous thing you say to them, as long as it isn’t true.