To a quite unwreckable Lie,
To a most impeccable Lie!
To a water-tight, fire-proof, angle-iron, sunk-hinge, time-lock, steel-faced Lie!
Not a private hansom Lie,
But a pair-and-brougham Lie,
Not a little-place-at-Tooting, but a country-house-with-shooting
And a ring-fence-deer-park Lie.

Oct 092015

It is odd that there is so much talk of genius, when geniuses deny that it exists, and the rest of us wouldn’t know.

Sep 112015

No one thinks to correct hypocrisy by aligning his beliefs with his actions.

Aug 212015

Now we celebrate human diversity, having spent the last few millennia obliterating it.

Aug 132015

Man is the only animal that cheats at solitaire.

Jul 032015

The unhappy man has the recompense of not being told that his unhappiness is a delusion.

Jun 302015

The ideal tool for avoiding communication is language.

Jun 192015

To catch one lie is to see one cockroach.

Apr 282015

When people say that you’re consistent they mean that you’re deranged.

Apr 212015

When I’m serious I’m partly joking, and when I’m joking I’m entirely serious.

Apr 142015

The weak often want to be thought wicked, but the wicked never want to be thought weak.