Elaboration annoys the clever without satisfying the dim.
You’re not weird, merely defective.
Office gossip is always true.
We reserve our warmest admiration, not for what is utterly beyond us, but for what we secretly believe we might have done ourselves on our very best day.
Bore is commutable; dullard is life without parole.
Taxes, regarded as the price of indifference, are a bargain.
The hard sciences killed God, natural selection buried Him, variance drove a silver stake through His heart, and yet He will not die.
Tardiness is the rudeness of kings, and punctuality the necessary politeness of their subjects.
In science the social construction of reality is known as peer review.
It is easy to rule people who are persuaded that they rule themselves.