Mar 112015
 

Elaboration annoys the clever without satisfying the dim.

Mar 102015
 

You’re not weird, merely defective.

Mar 062015
 

We reserve our warmest admiration, not for what is utterly beyond us, but for what we secretly believe we might have done ourselves on our very best day.

Mar 052015
 

Bore is commutable; dullard is life without parole.

Mar 042015
 

Taxes, regarded as the price of indifference, are a bargain.

Mar 032015
 

The hard sciences killed God, natural selection buried Him, variance drove a silver stake through His heart, and yet He will not die.

Mar 022015
 

Tardiness is the rudeness of kings, and punctuality the necessary politeness of their subjects.